Alex Roy’s Official Team Polizei HQ Blog: Covering Cars, Driving, Races, Rallies, Technology & All Things Automotive. Facts & Figures? Go Somewhere Else.
Matt Farah's Aston Martin Vanquish Gets Towed After He Breaks It Doing Donuts...
Expanding and extrapolating upon our low-budget Polizeisploitation flick, the minds at Garage 419 offer up their own expanded multicamera version of events, including characters like Farnbacher Loles‘ Roger Garbow, Jalopnik’s Ray Wert and Derek D. of Fast Lane Daily. Of course, by singling them out, we’re failing to mention a whole host of other people who lost. In all seriousness, it’s the most well-produced thing the 419 crew has put together so far. Roy makes reference to medieval warfare and lovemaking. Johnson regrettably reprises his “Iron Fist of Victory” schtick. Not shown, however, is the Aston Vanquish with the kaput power steering — a result of host Matt Farah’s early-morning donut antics. We did, however, get a picture of it being loaded onto the flatbed. Remember, schadenfreude wasn’t invented by Team Polizei.
A gripping Teutonic cop drama the likes of which you’ve never seen, involving Alex Roy, fundraising kingpin Bill “Wilhelm Deutschmark” Montana, Davey G. Johnson, Vinny Russo and the winning duo of Vagios & Skolnick. (ALEX WRITES: That’s nascent karting champion Zack Skolnick to you.) Strategy is employed. German accents are deployed. And victory’s mailed fist comes down upon the hordes, leaving a Polizei-shaped bruise in bold bas relief.
Five names that shall live in Polizei infamy, for were it not for last minute Polizei Draftee KartPiloten James Vagios & Zach Skolnick - whom I inducted onto Team Polizei and christened Polizei 6 mere minutes before the start of the Garage419 Invitational - my own performance would not have been nearly enough to claim anywhere close to 1st place, even with the help of the my brand-new Piloti-supplied “Ingel” racing shoes (above right), personally gifted to me by designer and company president Kevin Beard (above left) only days earlier.
The greatest victory belonged to Polizei 1 co-driver Bill Montana, however, who - as of this post - raised $7000+ on behalf of the Children’s Tumor Foundationand demonstrated driving skills superior to my own.
Bill, Kevin, Zack and James…thanks. As for organizers J.F. Musial and Matt Farah, great job. We’ll get to the others in my event follow-up post.
As for Polizei 2, piloted by the so-popular-he-must-have-a-secretVinny Russo and the automotive world’s Hunter S. Thompson (a.k.a. Davey Johnson), your crimes - well-documented and to be revealed in time - will never be forgotten by those present at GPNY.
Much more - including pics and some hilarious video - will go up later today…
Neue Polizei KartPiloten Bill Montana Im LuftPolizei Praktice
Team Polizei is proud to announce a new addition to our vaunted list of Piloten: Bill Montana. Master of knowledge real-estaten, Garage 419 fan and - like J.F. Musial - a Polizei fan who jumped the fence to join the radical fringe of Germany’s finest, Herr Montana adds critical skills at a critical time:
Team Polizei’s entry in the Garage419 Invitational in support of the Children’s Tumor Foundation. More importantly, Herr Montana will join me as co-driver of Polizei 1, the fourth among our entry, Polizei 2 comprised of the vaunted David Johnson and the much feared Vinny Russo.
Read Montana’s personal introduction - entitled “I like to drive s**t fast” - after the jump…
While thunder, lighting and rain strafe New York in a manner that’d put the grand mal in Lewis Hamiltion’s seizures, Team Polizei isn’t worried. Why? Because we’re racing indoors. Thanks to the good graces of Team Polizei co-conspiritor/master logician J.F. Musial, we’ve been invited to participate in the Garage 419 Invitational at Grand Prix New York, a charity kart enduro benefitting research into neurofibromatosis treatment. Alex is racing with Garage 419 fan and real estate professional Bill Montana as Polizei Team 1, while Davey and Spyker North America Dealer Relations manager Vinny Russo (above, in yellow) comprise Polizei Team 2. We’ll be filming video, selling schwag (with proceeds benefitting charity) and generally carrying on when we’re not behind the wheel of the karts, so come on up and say hi. We’ve also got special prizes for our highest donor, as well as for the biggest donor overall. Click here to donate and use the pulldown menu to choose Bill and Alex, no matter which one of the four of us you’re actually rooting for. The most important thing, of course, is that the money gets to those who need it.
Sorry for the inconvenience…but our blog’s migration from gumball144.com to this here teampolizeihq.com domain requires anyone who subscribed to our old RSS feed to ditch that one and re-subscribe to our new one.
How? Just click on here or on the orange RSS reader graphic on the top left of this page. Thanks for your patience as we work out the final pieces of our migration.
It was Matt Farah vs. yours truly once again on Garage419, and I know you’ll enjoy how - in light of the economy - we threw out our talking points and got down to business. Fans of Front 242, Slayer and Gorgoroth will appreciate this one. (FYI - Team Polizei does not endorse the political views of Gorgoroth or Gaal, its lead singer. Whether or not you do, or if you aren’t familiar with the Spinal Tap-grade irony of the latter and his band, please watch this. The whole thing. Trust me. And then watch this.)
So here’s the deal. For the last five years Team Polizei’s web presence - not including social networking pages - has been comprised of our Gumball144 blog, Team Polizei’s portal and the Polizei 144 clothing store. Not any more.
As of this weekend, this is going to change. Why? Firstly, since our gumball144.com blog is our most popular site, we want to move away from being identified off the cuff as a representative or employee of the Gumball 3000, which we never were, and are not. In the next 24 hours the gumball144.com URL will be re-directed to our new blog riiiiight here, featuring a new and faster server, more content, improved search and commenting, and all archives dating back to our humble beginnings 5+ years ago.
Much more to follow. Thanks for your patience during the transition. Bugs? Comments? Let us know.
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